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Mother's Day




So it's Mother's Day. Today is the day that marks 3 years of mother's days without my mom. I have found this one to be one of the hardest. The past 2 years, we have been with Kelly's mom, so I have had a "busy mind" and I guess I haven't thought this much about just my mom. This weekend we stayed in town, so I have had a lot of time to think today. 

My sister called me after church and said their closing hymn was "sweet sweet spirit". She had made it through the service holding back tears, but lost it during the hymn. Knowing the song is to describe Jesus, I can't help but think of how much my mom loved Jesus. She had such a calm and reassuring presence. She could rest knowing that God loved her more than we can imagine and that His will for her was greater than she, or anyone could know. Knowing all of these great things, there is still a void. There is still hurt.

For some reason, today, I have thought a lot about those things you say to people when they hurt, when they have lost. I have thought about where I was and where I am now. There are two phrases that I refuse to ever tell anyone. First, "time will heal your pain". Nothing can heal my pain except the love of Jesus Christ. God sent his son for us. To save us from our sins, He lost His only son. I wonder if time ever healed His pain? If by "time" you are trying to refer to the fact that with "time" we tend to forget things, then, how can you forget something so engraved in your life? Someone who made such an impact? I don't want to forget her. The second phrase is "it will get better". Do you think my life will ever be "better" than it was without my mom? I'm not saying my life isn't good. One thing that is different now that has helped bless my life is that I have Kelly now, but he doesn't replace my mom. There will always be a void there. Mom and husband are two different things. No one could ever make up for my mom being gone. Just like no one could ever replace Kelly. 

All that to say. There is one thing that someone did tell me the day my mom died. She sat in my parents front yard with me crying. She had lost her father at the same age as I lost my mom (22). She said that someone told her that God has a beautiful garden and He picks the most beautiful flowers for His garden. Now, not taking that literally, but that gives me great peace to know that God chose my mom for His kingdom. I know one day God will pick me for His garden and I will see her again.






Comments

Anonymous said…
That is the sweetest thing I haver ever read. You just made me cry!
Oh, This is:
Tammy M.
(i don't use gmail so I used someone elses!)
Thursday, July 10, 2008 11:40:00 AM
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