The Dotson Family Adoption

For those of you who don't know us and would like more information about us, here is a quick summary/update: Eight years ago, after being married just a few months, we became pregnant with our first child that we lost due to an ectopic pregnancy. We lost another shortly after that. From there we began saving. We decided to try IVF as the doctor was so very certain that this was the way for us to have a baby. We were told that because of my diagnosis (mild spina bifida) that international adoption was not an option for us and we were overwhelmed at the cost of adoption (30-50k). IVF came out a wee bit cheaper and insurance helped with bits  and pieces of it. So we went for it. We lost 3 babies during IVF (a single and twins).  The next year we decided to go through the state for foster and adoption. We felt the need was certainly there and were certified and within a few months we had our first placement. We had "C" for 5 months, fell in love with hi...

It's been 1 year since our lives were forever changed. On August 24 we met C. We put together a video of pretty much every picture we took plus a few of our favorite videos. This was therapeutic in many ways. We want to share it with family and friends. Enjoy!

That title is suppose to be funny. I see myself as neither of the two, but many see me as both. Sometimes I feel like the biggest Debbie Downer. I probably could be titled the Debbie Downer of Mother's Day. I'd rather not be. I don't find joy in this pain. This year is so different. For 8 years, I've mourned the loss of my own mother and for 7, the life of the babies that we lost, but never held. This year, I add mourning the experience of being a mother. I'm not saying that God is going to never give us more children. (I still hope that he does) I'm saying that I was a mother and struggle daily with not having Cotton here. Here's the thing. I absolutely loved being Cotton's foster mom. I can find joy in that today because we have so many wonderful memories with him. It's amazing to me how God provided me with the energy and stamina to provide for Cotton. For 4 months I was never away from him for more than 3-4 hours at a time 2 times a week. A...

Last Wednesday, just a day after my last blog, I decided it was time to reach out to our birth mom again. It's been most difficult to know the exact words to say.... so many thoughts ran through my head every time that I attempted to communicate with her over the last 4 months. I would think to myself, how can I show the love of Christ? How do I show her she's loved and worth the risk? Do I say I'm freaking out? What might end up being a one sentence text or voicemail, takes about an hour of prayer and preparation and lots of deep breaths. She once again didn't respond. So, I reached out to her mom. Her mom always responds.  Her response this time was: "she hasn't told you?"  My heart sunk. My first thought was that she lost the baby. My second thought was that she changed her mind.  Me: "no" Her mom: "I'm trying to get her to call you" Me: "Do you think she will actually call me?" (she hasn't in almost 2...

I want to start blogging again. I think. This post is eventually an update to what is happening in the Dotson family. There is so much going on in my mind right now. I am writing this post just moments after I was about to comment something not-so-nice on an Instagram post. Evidently it's "national infertility awareness week". I know this because social media said so. If we didn't have social media, I would never know about such days and weeks that we now celebrate, donuts, siblings, dogs, infertility... I do think it's important to be aware of things, but how often do we just use these moments as soap box time? I'm probably about to do that... I followed a link from Instagram to a blog of someone who "struggled with infertility" (said in my most sarcastic voice). I'm no professional, but I've been through the infertility ringer. This blog starts with "I have two kids..." screams infertility, right? As someone who continues to s...

Just a quick update on our IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). I went to the doctor for monitoring today (u/s and blood work). Everything looked good. So we are scheduled to transfer this Tuesday morning.  I am still on a number of injections, pills & patches, but I feel so much better this round than last time. I'm sure it's because I haven't had surgeries and the stimulation drugs. It's just been nice to be able to function this time around - so that I'm not at home constantly worrying or googling, etc... I also think that it helps that my injections are in the morning. Maybe it's my OCD self - but I like the fact that I do it and it's done and I don't have to plan my day around being at the house at a specific time to do shots.  Our biggest prayer request right now would be that our embryo survives the thawing process so that it can be successfully transferred. They don't freeze embryos that are at risk to not make it, but there is always ...

Working in children's ministry means that our summers are BUSY...times 100!!! Somehow I feel like that is an understatement for this summer. Basically it consisted of camps and VBS. All of it was so much fun and worth every moment of it! We enjoyed our summer. It was great to not be on meds and be free from doctors appointments. We were even able to get away for a fun vacation with some friends! We also started Weight Watchers online together. It's been great to be able to exercise and eat healthy! Both of us feel so much better (no indigestion, sleeping better, more energy, etc...) As of today, Kelly has lost 17 pounds and I have lost 12 pounds. Last week I started back on my tutoring/piano schedule. It's great to be back into a routine and to see my kids again!!! :) So where are we now with IVF?  We thought we were going to start meds in July, but the timing of Dr. Dunaway's vacation and our schedule for the summer didn't work out. I think that was for the be...